Sunday, October 7, 2012


So I'm walking down the street yesterday not too far away from my new apartment, when my buddy stops his lawn mowing to strike up a conversation. We chit-chat for a couple of minutes and he asks how I like my new "bachelor pad," and I tell him it's fine. Then he gets all serious, and tells me how many people envy my freedom in being single -- and from his tone I'm thinking he might be near the top of the list himself.

I admitted that certainly there are moments when I might wish I had a significant other, but it doesn't take too long to look around and realize just how miserable many of the couples I know are in their lives. And if that alone doesn't make me feel better, I can always read the Annie's Mailbox column in the paper, because it is riddled with unhappy people who are battling spouses, ex-spouses, and in-laws.

Somebody I know just announced he was getting married -- for the third time. I think that after I touched that hot griddle and burned myself once, it was enough to discourage me from doing it ever again. Another friend spent most of the night last night waiting for her hubby to come home. That's not something I feel shows much self-respect, or respect for a spouse from the absent husband. I was at a small board meeting recently where all of us knew each other pretty well, and suddenly one of my compadres noted aloud how every one of the four of us around the table was divorced. The man and woman there who live together agreed they were never going to marry, because what was the point?

It seems marriage has become more a business for attorneys than a loving institution in this day and age. Living together without being married can actually be more of a sign of love because they are doing it because they want to, rather than because that wedding ring obligates it.

Sure, it would be great to be in love with a soul mate. But I'm sure not going to cry away the days looking for one. Plus hopefully I'm setting a good example for my daughters, showing them that they don't need a husband to complete them ... they just need to grow into the best people they can be first and to worry about becoming a couple second.

If it's meant to be, that's great. If it's not, then that's the way it's meant to be instead. 

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