Friday, September 21, 2012


Anybody who uses Facebook has inevitably stumbled -- or stalked -- across a special someone from the past who he or she would like to get in touch with again, but might feel a bit tepid about actually sending that friend request. It's a big step ... especially if you aren't sure that person wants to hear from you again.

I've been there several times, and most recently stalked -- I mean, stumbled -- onto my first love from way back when. There was a moment of indecision as I stared at the "send" button, recalling our breakup and whether or not it was one where we vowed never to speak to each other again. Luckily, I've never had such trauma. Most often we just go our separate ways without all the drama, for better or worse. Maybe it's just because I've never had a truly passionate relationship where the breakup is devastating; I don't know. Sometimes I wonder if I'm missing out on something, but maybe someday it'll happen.

So now I can say I am friends on Facebook with just about every girlfriend I've ever had and it's really not so bad. We "like" each other's photos and make comments on posts when the mood strikes, although there isn't too much reminiscing about the past. Actually, there hasn't been any reminiscing about the past. It was a little odd when one of my lost loves sent my daughter a friend request as well, though, but that's OK too.

Facebook offers the perfect buffer to keep those wounds from reopening -- a cyberspace bandage that maintains distance while allowing all parties to stay in touch. So, if you've ever sat there staring at that friend request button while perusing an old love's homepage, or sent the request and then wished you could get it back, I'm sure you are in good company. Excepting in cases where there is still a restraining order in place, I say to go for it.

The worst the recipient can do is block you from further contact. Or get another restraining order ...

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